I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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