belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
