I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
