I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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