Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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