I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize