I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
