Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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