Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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