Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
