I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
