Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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