why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
