What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize