nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I just sharted jello shots
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
