No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
