ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
