Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
