Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
