you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
