Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize