JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
