hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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