Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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