Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
