I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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