when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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