Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
