Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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