sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
