Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
