singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize