maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
