it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
