You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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