I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
