i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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