On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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