I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
