So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
