I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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