I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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