just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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