The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
