ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
there is glitter all over my balls
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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