Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
