my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she told me i tasted like america
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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