i jhust puked up my retainher.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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