forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
