we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
where am i from again
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
