conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
