I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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