party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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