Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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