before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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