How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
