these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
