Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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