I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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