Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
