I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
