this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
