just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
